I am a woman searching for my inner goddess and using fabrics, words and photography as my road map. I find great comfort and order in my creative efforts and hope that in sharing them you find a peace also. Welcome and Be Blessed!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Every Day Is For Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is now over- not quite a memory for some as they have mounds of left overs to munch their way through, but for the rest of us it is merely a burp on the calendar of yesterdays. My dear friend Kat over at CatHouse Chat has up a great list of things she is thankful for. I would have to second many of her choices. I would have to add one more that is a really big thank you for me. I am thankful for the hard places in life. OK, I know that one sounds a bit strange but remember the author as you read this. *grin* While none of these are situations I would wish upon anyone else in the world I do appreciate that I could walk away with my head held high and with the knowledge that I had survived and that I was richer somehow with each experience.

1. I was sexually molested by a relative as a very small child. While this stole away my innocence as a child, today at 47 I am living a life of child like wonderment and joy. Also, it taught me to remove myself from the situation of the moment, past all the pain and the shame to a place of simple peace, a place of imaginings and quiet beauty. I still find myself going there today when things get too painful to face head on at the moment. It gives me a chance to regroup before I face the demons head on. To slay the dragons one must find their wellspring of goodness and worth, only then are we armed with the tools needed to lop off the heads of things that appear bigger then we are.

2. My life was divided up and divvied out when I was about 10. My parents found that it was no longer possible to even be in the same room with each other. I watched horrified as what I had viewed as a stronghold of my life was torn and scattered to the winds of time. In time this situation enlarged my family size rather then making it smaller as each parent remarried and my family circle expanded. I learned that family is not necessarily who you are related to. I learned that is is very important to focus on the small things in relationships. If you take care of the little things and make them important there is a basis for dealing with those big things when they wander into your forest or backyard.

3. I have had 2 miscarriages. I learned that it is possible to love something that has not even fully presented itself yet. A whisper of hope can be a powerful weapon in your arsenal. I like to think this means I will will have babies to nurture when I get to Heaven- baby angels who were sent ahead because God always had the bigger picture of our lives in his mind and in his heart.

4. I have buried a child. My blessed Jessica, born with Muscular Dystrophy and many other maladies. There were so many times when I would sit at Children's Hospital and find myself removing myself to a place less painful- see #1. She taught me that it is so important to make each moment count. In my live I learned not to take things day by day but breath by breath. Only God knows the number of days you will be on this earth, or those of your loved ones. Life is for and about people, not things. I believe that Jessica was greeted at Heavens gate by 2 angel sisters who could show her around and teach her how to use not only her angel wings but also her legs that proved to be so useless on earth.

5. In the past 4 months I have buried 2 parents, my Mother and her husband, my stepfather. I know that they are together and at peace and loving life in Heaven where there is no pain, nothing called cancer to deal with, and 3 angel grand-babies to love on and adore. This only further reminds me that life is about those around you that you cherish. What are you doing each day to let them know that they bless you in some way? Is every day a day of Thanksgiving to you. Not a great big thank you for each time you sit down in front of that big ol' tv set and it comes on to show you other worlds or lives good or bad but a big thank you for the people who make each day worth getting out of bed for.

Yes, I am thankful for the rough spots, the rocky ones, the ones that trip you up for a bit. They teach you that you have strengths hidden within. Today as I write this I am dealing with yet another spot that has tripped me up. My body has decided that it has had enough, but my spirit continues the fight and says "oh dear body, look backward at all those places you thought you could never pick yourself up and yet you did. I know how strong you really are and we will prevail yet again." Physically my body hurts in just about every way possible but I know a place, a place of simple peace, a place of imaginings and quiet beauty. I go there to regroup and get ready to face the day and I remember how blessed I am because I have such inspiring people surrounding me. My heart reminds me that every day is Thanksgiving Day and as I think of those I love and cherish I have reasons to get out of bed and face the dragons of the day. I am made stronger with the knowledge that I have done this before. I am a slayer of dragons. I can do this because I am armed with the knowledge that I have done this so many times before. Be blessed dear one and know that I am so very thankful for you.

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I believe that things can always be cured with a hug and a cup of tea, fixed with either a needle and thread, duct tape, WD40 or coke, and that prayer works every time. I take in strays whether in animal or childlike form. I have been mother to many for a time and this is my way of keeping up with some of those straying children that I miss. I appreciate shock value and use it often to remind people that the world is round and colorful and we are not all living in square brown cardboard boxes with little holes cut in for windows. Look for the warm fuzzies- God delivers them up fresh every day just to say- I think you are pretty darned special- so special that I have your picture up on my fridge for life and I am sending you a hug to remind you that you matter to me.

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