Sperm Trees and Me
As my daughter taught me to say "DAMN". There are just times when I hate being female. Tonight is most definitely one of those times. I have the MOTHER of all CRAMPS tonight and nothing- not two beers, not straight vodka, not a hot bath, not a pain pill, is even taking the edge off of the cramps although it might just be taking the bridle off the tongue so again I say DAMN!
Another reason I don't want to be female is the stinking trees that my hubby thought we should most definitely plant all over in the back yard. Chinese Chestnut trees- deer love them, they have nuts- men think anything with nuts is way cool (ours always have worms), they keep growing even when I run the stupid trees over with the lawn mower. The part that makes me wish I was male tonight- these trees smell- when they are out in bloom they smell like a whole boyscout troop jacking off to the latest pinup girl- gag me....the sperm trees are out and why is it that only women smell them... I give up but man oh man do I wish I were a man tonight.
I could list so many other reasons but I must admit that most of the time I love who I am and I love that I am loved because of my femaleness- somehow I doubt that those who cherish me for me would do so if I was he instead of me.
Be blessed and ladies beware- the sperm trees are out and waifing on the breeze- you have been warned.
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