For Kat

My dear Friend Kat who sent me searching for the Best Blonde Joke Ever.

I refuse to admit how blonde I might be.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car

broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks

graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they

say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about

his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in

front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed

him, and even fix his car. That night, he hears the same

strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next

morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell

you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the

only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk,

how do I become a monk?" The monks reply, "You must travel the

earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the

exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you

will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he

returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I

have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for.

There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and

231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. "The monks

reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show

you the way to the sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk

says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches

for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny.

May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens

the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him

the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind

that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it

went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver,

topaz and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the

knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of

that strange sound.

But I can't tell you what it is.

You're not a monk.