Recalculating the Year
Happy New Year! Today is that glorious day that reminds us that hey we sorta get a do over. Like hitting the refresh button on my lappy, it is a new year and I can bring forth a new view. Actually I realize that is anything but true. I will most likely weigh the same next week as I weighed last month. The bills that were not paid last month carry over along with interest to this new year- surprise.
Perhaps it is more like using a GPS. You are traveling along the road of life and miss your turnoff and you suddenly hear, "recalculating". Today is a day to sit and "recalculate" where I am and whether I like the view. I think I can honestly say that I do and I don't. There are things to be ever so thankful for and situations that need the Lord's grace and mercy to make them right. Mostly, I just see myself cruising along, looking out the window and enjoying the view and the time spent moving along.
We went to spend Christmas with my Mother and Stepfather and the rest of the family. I praise God for impressing upon me early on that I needed to make this trip again this year. You see, my family really enjoys a very quite day spent at home with only immediate family but once again this year we packed ourselves into a car and made the long trip to Missouri. My Mother has bone marrow cancer and we had thought that last year would be our last Christmas with her. She surprised us all and made it to this year. While she looks frail and tires easily, she is getting around better this year then she did last year. The news for this year is that my Stepfather has lung cancer and also has spots on his liver. He will start chemo treatments this week. The diagnosis for both parents is not good. I also have two dear friends who are dealing with different types of cancer. It seems that cancer is touching my life in many different directions right now and I just don't like the helpless feelings it leaves me with. I am too far away to be of much help to anyone and this just frustrates me.
In "recalculating" this past year, I realized that I have taken one step forward and two steps back from the Lord anytime a tough situation has reared its head. This is definitely not a positive response. I draw all goodness, and strength, faith and love from the Lord and I have been losing ground in all areas. My stepping farther away has hindered my prayer life and so I have not even been praying with the fervor and power that I once shared with the Lord. No wonder I am frustrated. I think I have found the answer and if this is a view of your road trip that you also recognize, I am offering up my new years resolution to you as perhaps the most perfect thing you can do this next year: "Cry Out to Jesus".
I wish you peace, joy, healing, mercy and God's grace upon this upcoming year.
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