To Me, From Me

I must admit up-front that this post is really written by me to me. I need for my spirit to hear and act upon what my heart already knows. Today I am plagued with trepredation. I am not certain I can call it fear, or even worry. Perhaps it is more not knowing what is just around the corner in so many areas.

My Mother was diagnosed in Jan. with Myelofibrosis, a rare form of bone marrow cancer. She had been responding so well to meds that they were hesitantly using that R word (remission) and had planned an Alaskian cruise with her sister and bro-in-law. They were to leave today. My mom hurt her back about a month ago and initially thought she had just pulled something but when pain meds didnt touch the pian and only the prednesone seemed to help it was apparent that the cancer is still active. Yesterday she had a very bad day and I have not heard if they decided to cancel the trip today or not. Knowing my Mom she will fake how she feels so as not ruin everyone elses fun- even it it kills her.

I received an email yesterday that one of my daughters best friends from highschool has been placed on the liver donor list. He is now in liver failure and needs a new liver quickly. As I began to pray for Jeff and his new liver I was reminded that for Jeff to receive this gift someone else must endure the pain of losing a loved one. I just pray that the Lord will keep Jeff safe and healthy until the time that a liver becomes available. I know the tireless worry and the unrest of the spirit when a child is sick and there is nothing you as a parent can do except wait. I also know the ripping pain of holding your sweet baby as she takes her last breathe and I have wished from that day forward that no other parent would have to go through that but unfortuately this is earth and not heaven and so children will continue to die before their parents. I am praying that Jeff's family will not have to know this pain- ever.

Daughter Jn is now out of the wilds of Peru and cruising the touristy areas. I think she was safer with the bats and snakes and such personally. She will be flying home Weds and Thurs. I am anxious to know she is back in the Boston area although that is maybe even a scarier place then Peru....hmmmm. Good thing I gave her back over to the Lord many years ago. She is his responsiblity, I just get to call her daughter and pay her bills and listen to her bubble over with awe inspiring stories. I am a blessed woman for sure!

Add to this some really big financial concerns we are having here and you will understand if you are still reading this why I need to remind myself of where my strength comes.

"Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love." Psalm 31:16

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to
fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry,
"Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that
we are God's children." Romans 8:15-16

"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper, I will not be seized with alarm—I will not fear or dread or be terrified. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6, Amplified)

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7, TLB).

If you have read this far God bless you in a big way today. I promise that as I get around this corner you will be hearing of God's amazing answers to the prayers sent out today. God is faithful and merciful. These things I know with my whole being and now I remember that I know these things even within my spirit.