I am a woman searching for my inner goddess and using fabrics, words and photography as my road map. I find great comfort and order in my creative efforts and hope that in sharing them you find a peace also. Welcome and Be Blessed!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Jesus Has Arrived

It was December 24, 1986 and Butler County was smothered under inches of drifting, blowing snow. It was that kind of evening where you should be enjoying the glow of a warm fire, drinking egg nog and reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" with your wide-eyed daughter just before hanging the stockings and tucking her into bed.

I was not doing any of these things. There would be no cookies set out this evening. No sugar on a plate for Rudolph. Not even good night hugs and kisses with my 1 1/2 years old daughter, Jenn. I was tucked in safe and warm but a hospital bed on Christmas Eve is not the place to be, especially this year.

Earlier in the day I called my husband to alert him to the fact that I was having a miscarriage. I needed him to come home and take me to the hospital. Off we went, with Jenn in toe. How could this be? I was carrying the baby sister that Jenn had wished upon the evening star for. In two days I was flying out to spend time with my family, and to tell them about their upcoming grandchild, and now... and now, here I was tucked into this hospital bed. The snow was falling fast and furious. My husband and child had gone home. The doctor wanted to deal with me in the morning instead of Christmas Eve. The outside phone lines were cut off and very little staff had made it into the hospital. I was suddenly very alone.

That evening, tucked into that sterile hospital room , alone and empty, I found Jesus. There was no shining star, no shepherds, very few wise men but plenty of angels if you count the nurses. Jesus came, not as a baby that evening, but as a Savior, my Savior. He knew my pain. He filled my emptiness with warmth and love. He promised me that I would never, ever be alone again. Yes, that night in a cavernous building filled with dull chatter, alarms buzzing, sirens blaring and busyness abounding, Jesus arrived and Christmas has never been the same for me.

Christmas is not about the trees, the stockings, and the gifts. Christmas is about Jesus arriving: Jesus, the Savior, coming to tell us that we never have to be alone again. He knows our pain and wants to fill our emptiness with warmth and love. This is why Christmas has lasted for 2,000 years and this why we must carry on the good news that Jesus has arrived for you and for me. Have a very Blessed Christmas.

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I believe that things can always be cured with a hug and a cup of tea, fixed with either a needle and thread, duct tape, WD40 or coke, and that prayer works every time. I take in strays whether in animal or childlike form. I have been mother to many for a time and this is my way of keeping up with some of those straying children that I miss. I appreciate shock value and use it often to remind people that the world is round and colorful and we are not all living in square brown cardboard boxes with little holes cut in for windows. Look for the warm fuzzies- God delivers them up fresh every day just to say- I think you are pretty darned special- so special that I have your picture up on my fridge for life and I am sending you a hug to remind you that you matter to me.

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